I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
