So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
