is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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