My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
