ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
