lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize