from now on my penis is your penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
