dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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