kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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