If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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