ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I want is dick and wine.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
