so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
