he told me I talked like a deaf person
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
