I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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