Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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