god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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