For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
