bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
