My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize