How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
