Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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