morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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