I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
