Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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