:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
