Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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