Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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