I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
