Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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