brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
