remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
