I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
