are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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