don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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