I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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