What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Vodka?
Forever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
