She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
