so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
