i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
