I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
