All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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