Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
