I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
