guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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