the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
