i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
