I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
