Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
