My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Redeem this text for a blowjob
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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