She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
