This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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