i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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