This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
