But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
