I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
