The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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