Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
