I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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