I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
