Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
