sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
