We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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