wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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