I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
