**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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