her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
